Saturday, March 28, 2009

Just a little note from the Vatican...

In case you don't want to read it...

The pope is telling AFRICA not to use condoms (where hundreds die every day from HIV related illness) because they should practice abstinence.
He's being asked to retract his statement (because it's retarded) but he won't because he's infallible technically and can't be wrong.
That's a tough spot to be in, to put your foot in your mouth and not be able to take it out or risk collapsing the entire point of your existence. It's tough to be the Pope. It's even tough to be a creepy little Nazi pope.

In other news, a good friend of my family got arrested today in a "Illegal Immigration Sweep" done by our very own racist sheriff Joe Arpio. This man served in Vietnam, and is currently a pastor for poverty stricken families all over the valley. A good majority of the poor people in the Arizona community are Illegal Immigrants. Which sends the arguments of "they took our jobs" right into the shitter. Most illegal immigrants don't get hired on at Old Navy, T-mobile, office buildings or (the largest employer of americans) Walmart. I digress. A good majority of the people this man preaches to are poor, illegal immigrants.
Sheriff Joe decided to do a raid this morning near (he won't actually burst into the church) the church he was scheduled to speak at and rounded everyone up.
This man has given his life to the service of other people ( this country, religious council) and is now sitting in jail for being BROWN. His family has been completely disrupted by having to get all of his legal documentation to prove that the ID he's carrying is legit and he's an actual citizen of this country. He's IN JAIL, on suspicion of being an illegal immigrant because of the color of his skin.

Racial profiling at it's finest.
Though Sheriff Joe says it's not what he's doing.

I've never been asked to prove my legal status in this country because my skin is white...

Fuck Sheriff Joe, and fuck anyone who supports any of his completely racist policies.


Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Good Music is Good

I just got back from seeing Elitist at The Slurp, and I liked them so much I thought I should let everyone know that they are awesome, and you should go see them when they play in your town.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

New Age and Royal Monsters

We're pretty stoked to have New Age Records putting out our demo as a 7"!

Here's the blurb from the New Age website.

Featuring ex members of Where Eagles Dare, Landmine Marathon, George Moshington and Get Destroyed Phoenix Arizona's Royal Monsters bring experience from all over the hardcore/punk/metal spectrum. Formed in December of 2008, Kellen (WED) enlisted the help of John (WED) and Mark(GM) to get the band started.

" I wanted to start a fast, pissed off hardcore band that was challenging musically, not just simple power chords ". The addition of Jeffrey (LM) and Jay (GD) into the band added a whole new range of musical possibilities and a step even farther away from simplistic hardcore/punk songwriting.

Infusing punk, traditional hardcore, metal and thrash the desperate, dark and furious sound of Royal Monsters was born. With lyrics focusing on personal politics, experience of our culture from an outside perspective, and turmoil and struggle throughout history, it's a departure from most of the members previous bands subject matter.

"We got into the space, started writing songs, and wrote and wrote and wrote. It's been so great everyone clicked musically, and the songs just poured out."
No strangers to the road, all members have logged more than their fair share of miles around this country and this band will be no different.
"We booked our first tour before the demo was even recorded, and we have no plans of slowing down". "Europe, Japan, Australia are all in our sites as well as spending some more time on the road in the US".

Royal Monsters and New Age records have teamed up to put the bands first 7", expect multiple colors for you record nerds.

Keep posted here and on the New Age site for info.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Day 5 - The End

We woke up in Motel Sucks to the sounds of our twacked out neighbors arguing. Whether they had ever stopped during the time we slept or not remains unknown. After grabbing some showers and deuces, we grabbed all of our stuff to head out. We got a quick glimpse of our neighbors, and they were surely shady. As soon as I walked past the guy that was outside the room, he looked at me, sort of panicked a little bit and went back into his room. John said that, when he checked out, the girl who was with them, who had track marks all over her arm, was speaking to the woman at the counter. “Can I get the deposit?” she asked. “There is no deposit,” the counter lady replied. “They told me to get he deposit.” “There is no deposit.” So, from what it sounds like, she was a prostitute, and they told her they would pay her with the deposit which, it turned out, didn’t exist. Just a fucked up situation all around.

Everyone piled into the van, and we hit the road for Fresno, really excited to see what the show was going to be like. Before getting too far, we stopped to get “breakfast” at Taco Bleh, which was probably the best food I’ve ever had at said location (which isn’t saying much, of course), then we piled back in the van to go get gas and get moving a little further. We stopped at a Burger Krap to take a crap, and Mark and I ran over to a gas station to get some snacks. I got some golden Oreos and Mark got some peanuts. As soon as Mark popped some nuts in his mouth, he said, “Oh, man, these nuts are bad.” I promptly checked the expiration date on the cookies and notice that had expired three weeks ago, so I ran back in and exchanged them for a Mountain Poo, which actually cost more, but I took it anyway, because I’m like, a total rebel and stuff.

After a few more hours, we finally pulled into Fresno. From what I could see, Fresno isn’t exactly the safest place. There were definitely dudes all over looking to mug us, but since we’re all such tough guys, no one fucks with us. (In case it isn‘t glaringly obvious, I’m a total pussy.) The doors of The Chinatown Youth Center opened up, we unloaded our gear and were greeted with smiles and spaghetti, which was perfect because, well, we like smiles, and we were hungry as shit. The kids at the show were all really awesome, and we felt really welcome there. The four opening bands, from what I gathered, shared a lot of their equipment, and were done insanely fast. We already had all of our stuff backlined, so we got ready fairly quick, and started playing. I broke a string (What else is new?) toward the end of our first song, but fortunately, I was smart enough to bring a backup guitar, and I was able to jump back in before the song was done.

We all felt really good about playing there, and we would be happy to go back there any time, which seems to be the general way that this whole tour has gone up to this point. And here we are, on the ten hour drive home from Fresno, talking about discovering masturbation, hacking computers and our childhoods. I couldn’t be happier in a band than I am with these guys, and I’m definitely satisfied with how the last five days have gone. A heartfelt thank you goes out to everyone that out us up at their places and spent time with us, all of whom I’ve mentioned already. Seriously, thanks a ton, guys. You all made this short little tour really easy. I definitely feel like we cheated, it was so easy.

I really wish we were still going to be touring for months, but I guess you just have to go home sometimes.

Day 4 - Mother's and Tweekers

We woke up at Chris’s house, and I know I was feeling super refreshed, especially after taking the first shower I’ve taken on tour so far. (It’s okay, I normally don’t shower more than two or three times a week.) After we lazed around for a little bit, we went to eat at Mother’s Market, where they have a menu with somewhere between twenty and forty vegan items, including a bunch of different shakes and smoothies. I’m fairly certain we all ate way more than our fair share, but no one regretted it, in the end.

As soon as we finished, we met up with Mike and Ashley, who joined us for the ride to the show in Riverside. We really wanted to go to the beach (especially Jay), but we didn’t have the time, so we got on the freeway to Riverside to deal with the CA rush hour traffic. We took the toll road, which I haven’t done before, and it was a lot faster than I expected it to be, which was good since we were worried about being late.

We pulled up to The Pharaoh’s Den at about six and no one was there, so we went next door to a coffee shop. Now, don’t ask me why, but I personally fucking hate coffee shops, and this one was no different. As soon as we sat down, the people next to us started staring and whispering. I just did what Ialways do in that situation and stared back until they stopped whispering and starting having actual conversation with each other again. Jay and Mike went downstairs to play pool and I followed after them a few minutes later. I watched them play pool for a bit and some random guy came up to chat with us for a little bit. At 6:30, a woman came over and told us they rented out the room at that time on Mondays, so we left. It all worked out because that’s when Pharaoh’s Den was supposed to open their doors.

One thing I didn’t mention is that the place had a huge staircase right at the entrance. Stairs are always fun to load gear up, so we were definitely looking forward to that part. By the time all of our gear was upstairs, we were pretty well drenched in sweat. Everyone got settled in, the first band, Abandoned, played, then we set up our shit and went. A couple songs in, Jay busted a bass string, but it wasn’t a problem, because the bass player from From The Depths let him use his bass, and he even let him tune it from D standard to E standard, which was pretty rad of him. After us, Deadhed played, the From The Depths, who are definitely my favorite band we’ve played with so far. They are the perfect mix of hardcore and assorted kinds of metal. I really hope we get to see them again soon. After they played, Seven Generations played, which was awesome since they weren’t able to play with us in Pasadena, and it would have sucked to not play any of the shows on this tour with them, since we set the tour up with them initially. Mike Hartsfield from New Age came out to see the show. He’s a really awesome guy, and he looks like David cross, which makes him even cooler.

After the show, we said bye to all of the guys in Seven Gen and Mike (Hellfish) and Ashley, and got in the van to go eat at Santana’s, which was pretty badass. We hung out there for a bit with Nate, who put on the show, then we followed him to the Motel 6 by his place, where we crashed for the night with five of us in a room that was meant for two. We pulled some covert ops, avoiding the security guard as we got out of the van, only to realize as we settle in that he probably had bigger things to worry about than us, like the tweekers shouting in the room next to us all night. We heard them shout, “Are you stupid?!” “I’ll hit him!” “I will hurt him!” “I’ll shoot him!” and other such things. It was a little tough to fall asleep, worrying about being hit by a stray bullet flying through the wall, but I managed to do it.

It was a pretty fun night, and I know we’re al extremely glad we got to play with From The Depths, because they we’re outstanding.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Day 3 - Pizza Madness, Horses and Houses

Today was amazing.

Really, that sums it up, and I could just leave it at that, but I'm not going to. We woke up at Chris's place after they had left to play their Gilman show, unsure if we would be playing a show or not, tonight. Before we knew it, Chris's mom delivered us two AMAZING vegan pizzas. I thought, after eating them, I would never eat another pizza as good as that in my life, let alone better, let alone on the same day, but I'll get back to that.

After we ate, we went to the hardware store to get some lumber and screws to fix the bass cab with. We had to unload the van in the middle of a parking lot with cars driving by to get the measurements, but we got through it without incident. As soon as John came out with the supplies, we checked the sizes, loaded everything up and headed to the Hellfish warehouse to hang out with Michael and borrow his drill to fix the cab. We saw the sleeves for the new Run With The Hunted EP, "Destroy All Calendars" being printed, and the look really awesome.

After John finished his handiwork, we loaded the van back up, and just then, Michael finished what he was doing. He took us where he and his wife, Ashley, have their horses. (It's actually where Ashley works, too.) We walked around there for quite a while, checking out a bunch of other people's horses and goats, then Michael showed us their horses, Gitan and Dracula. Gitan is about a foot taller than a "regular" horse, and is also super gentle. Not to mention that he is a super rare breed. (Michael said he is a $30,000 horse, and the woman who previously had him just gave him to Ashley!) A few of us took a ride or two on her. Unfortunately, Mark had a drink from Shitbucks Coffee that wrecked his stomach, and my hip has been pretty fucked up the last couple of days, so he and I didn't ride, but Kellen, Jay and John did, and they looked awesome doing it. (I have been taking some video, so keep checking here as the weeks go on, because it will take me a while to sort through and edit all of it.)

After a few really fun hours there, we went back to Ashley and Michael's place where they made us five incredible vegan pizzas. As phenomenal as the pizza we had earlier was, I liked these ones more, though they were definitely different. Chris's mom's pizza is more of a gourmet pizza, and Michael and Ashley's is more like a regular pizza. In fact, it's the only vegan pizza I've ever had that looked and tasted like non-vegan pizza. Who knew that I would have the two best vegan pizzas I've ever had on the same day?

We finished the pizza and the salad Kellen made, hung out for a little bit, then went to see The Last House On The Left, which wasn't as good as I hoped, but it wasn't terrible either. There were quite a few hysterical lines (though I couldn't tell whether or not they were intentionally funny), and some pretty good scenes of violence, but when all was said and done, it really was just ridiculous and nonsensical.

We departed from the nonsense, took Michael home, then went back to Chris's and passed out. Definitely a successful day off, and I wish that I could convey just how phenomenal it was in writing, but it doesn't feel like I'm doing it justice at all.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Day 2 - 580 and Air Fries

We woke up at Jake’s house somewhere around 10, hung out for a little bit, then said bye to Jake, Simon and Kyle, and got some more tasty burritos. We went to Giant Corporate guitar shop to get a few things before we headed out to Chris’s place, which would be home base for the next few days. The drive there didn’t have anything exciting like a Verizon convention. There were a few insane motorcycle riders that we were convinced we would see the corpses of down the road, but that was about it.

We got to Chris’s house and were welcomed with open arms, and greeted by yet another pet, Riley. Riley is a dog, and Simon the cat probably weighs more. We were offered some awesome vegan food, and regretted having eaten burritos, except Jay, who was a champ, and still managed to wolf down more food.

After a little bit hanging out, it was time to head to the show. We pulled up to The 508 House in Pasadena, CA. This place is fucking awesome. It’s a Victorian house that got turned into a venue three years ago that the people who run got turned into a historical building so that it can’t be torn down. We went down the street to a vegetarian fast food restaurant called Orean…, which was pretty good, except for the French fries, which were called “Air Fries” for some unknown reason. Guesses as to why ranged from, “They just take all of the meat out of a potato and pump the skin full of air,“ to, “They’re filled with toxins, so you feel like you’re floating on air. The point is, Orean… is great, but you don’t want the air fries.

We rushed back to the show, because we were playing second and the show was about to start. We got there all pumped to go, only to realize there was no PA, and there were two bands that had been added on to the show, so we were playing fourth now. It all turned out good, as Feed Walrus Defeat were fucking outstanding. The whole show was a blast, and there was a good amount of kids there. Definitely my favorite of the two shows so far, though hijacking a show was pretty fun. The only bummer was that one of the casters on the bass cab busted, but it's not the first time some of us have dealt with this, so it's not that big of a deal.

After the show, we hung out with the guys from Feed Walrus Defeat and Wolf Mother Fucker, and some other friends for a bit, then we went off to Denny’s to hang out and relax for an hour or two. We finally made our way back to Chris’s place at about 4 in the morning, exhausted and ready for bed. This was definitely a good day.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Day 1 - Hijacked Vans, Hijacked Shows

We hit the road at about 9AM on Friday the 13th. The trip there was a little bit weird, filled with odd and fun characters. We stopped at a rest stop a few miles before the border to take short break. I went into the bathroom and crapped my little heart out, people jostling the handle, trying to get in the whole time. I opened the door, and there was a red-headed man, and his two young, red-headed boys standing perhaps a foot in front of me, with the most hysterical smiles on their faces. It was sort of creepy. I laughed, washed my hands, and headed out to the van.

We got moving again, and as soon as we got into Blythe, we stopped for John to grab a bite in Pizza Hut. When we walked in, there was a man in a Verizon shirt chuckling quite robustly. He looked at Kellen and I, who were about ten feet from him, and shouted, "Welcome to California!" The man continued guffawing as Kellen and I proceeded to ignore him and continue to the restroom. It felt like something out of a Hunter S. Thompson novel, minus the hallucinogens. (Reminding me that I have a whole ton of his books to catch up on.)

Everyone took care of what they needed to, and we were off again! A few miles down the freeway, a couple of Verizon vans passed us. Then a couple more. Then three more. When all was said and done, fifteen Verizon vans had passed us in the space of about ten or fifteen miles. We had no idea where they were going or what they were doing. (I was hoping that they were actually hijacked Verizon vans, transporting money, guns, and/or drugs across the country.) A while later, we made another rest area stop. As soon as we pulled in, we saw all of the Verizon vans, and the whole rest area was littered with Verizon employees, sitting at benches, walking around, just hanging out in general, having a good time. I got out and noticed a guy, David, that I know from his great photography. (I am, unfortunately, having trouble finding a link to his photos.) I said hi to him and found out that his group was heading to The World Famous Hollywood Magic Castle, which, ironically, I had not heard of until then.

We hit the road again, and arrived at Jake's house a few hours later. Jake told us about a great vegan burrito place just down the street from his place, so we went there immediately, and were not disappointed at all. We went back to Jake's and hung out with him and his pets (my favorite of which was Simon, a cat with girth to rival Garfield), then we headed to the show.

The thing about this show, we weren't on the bill. Someone had asked the promoter about another band jumping on the bill and he had said no. So, we get to the venue, Metaphor, and we load our gear in, saying we're Fucked By Thieves, the first band, who is using some of our equipment. (Actually, they didn't even ask me what band I was in. I rolled in equipment and they stamped my hand.) Fucked By Thieves played a short set and we jumped right on after them, taking about two minutes to get ready. We cut our set a little short, but none of us had a problem with it, since we were hijacking the show and it was awesome.

After the show, we went back to Jake's place, where Kellen, Mark, Jay and I decided to go to a party at Jake's friend's house. John was the smart one who stayed back and slept in the van, but it's not like the rest of us had a terrible time. There were dead baby jokes, massive water pipes, and there was water pong, a taser and, most importantly, Jake's roommate, Kyle, who was one drunk as shit, rad and hilarious. We were there until until about three in the morning until we all begged Jake to let us drive back. As soon as we got back, we went right to sleep.

First Show!

Here are a few shots from our first show. Thanks to the guys at The Dude Ranch for letting us and Disaster Strikes play in their kitchen!

Thanks to Manny and Danny for the awesome photos!

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Dude Ranch

Thanks a ton to everyone that came out for our first show! I will get some photos up on here as soon as possible. Aside from me breaking a string halfway into the second song of our set, everything went great! (Fortunately, I had a back-up guitar handy.) I know particularly Kellen and I were a little bit worried about the whole thing was going to work out, so that was a bit of a relief. I mean, um, we're serious, professional musicians! We had complete confidence and knew we would do everything exactly right!

I'm really excited to play some shows in California, and I can't believe we're leaving in only 8 or 9 hours.

For all of you Twitterers out there, we now have a Twitter profile set up, so add us!

Other than that, keep an eye around here, as I imagine I'll have a few things to say on tour.

Sunday, March 8, 2009


We have a few shows coming up. Here are some of the fliers.

Saturday, March 7, 2009


Jay ordered some CDs, I ordered some stamps, and as soon as I had both in my hands, I got to work on them. I'm pretty happy with the way they look, and I can't wait to have them all packaged. Here's a sneak peek of what has me so excited: